ULTIMATE SPEEDING TICKET (Flight International 24.3.09)

If you've ever been tempted to inflict revenge on an officious copper who has slapped you with a speeding ticket, you'll enjoy this from Australia.

Two traffic patrol officers in Newcastle were checking for speeding motorists with a handheld radar device. As a suspect car approached over the brow of a hill, the radar recorded a speed of 800 km/hr (500 mph) and packed up. As the bemused coppers puzzled over what had caused the equipment to malfunction, there was a thundering roar and a low-flying RAAF Boeing F-18 soared over their heads

Back at the police station, a furious area commander fired off an email rocket to his counterpart at the nearby Williamtown air base.

Back came the reply:' Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer on the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it.

Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.

Fortunately, the pilot flying the Hornet recognised the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system's alert status, and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed. Thank you for your enquiry.'